The weekly freeroll at muckpoker.net pays six places out of a 100,000 Muck Buck pool. This Sunday it drew 12 entrants. Three were people. Nine were robots, which fill the field, and the robots finished second through seventh.
- 1BinkybinkPerson50,000
- 2halfbaked21Robot27,000Unpaid
- 3Lucky Money tiltRobot13,000Unpaid
- 4StillLearnsRobot5,000Unpaid
- 5Tenzo_rRobot3,000Unpaid
- 6tr0kenRobot2,000Unpaid
How It Started
Prizes at the freeroll go to people only, so second through sixth place paid nobody. The scheduled 27,000, 13,000, 5,000, 3,000 and 2,000 went unclaimed, which left Binkybink with 50,000 Muck Bucks and the other 50,000 with no one.
It nearly went differently. With three players left, Binkybink was the short stack. On Hand 105 Lucky Money tilt shoved 7,767 chips with a two and a seven. Halfbaked21 called with a four and a six and won the pot. Binkybink, who had folded, was heads-up against a robot holding 19,801 of the 24,000 chips in the room.
24,000 chips in play. Binkybink holds 17.5 percent of them.
Muck Poker is Texas Hold'em with the ranking turned upside down. The worst hand wins, a royal flush is the worst hand in the game, and the best possible holding is 7-5-4-3-2. Binkybink spent the next 22 hands collecting the kind of hands a person is proud of.
On Hand 111, halfbaked21 raised to 18,901 and Binkybink called the last 2,099 with a nine and a two.
Both topped out at a nine. The five against the six decided it.
On Hand 118, halfbaked21 shoved 14,102 chips with a five and an eight. Binkybink called with a three and an eight and doubled up again, to 18,996.
The board played four of five cards for both. The three beat the five.
The last hand was Hand 128. Down to its final 4,008 chips, halfbaked21 shoved a ten and a six, a pair of cards that in this game announce themselves as high. Binkybink called 3,208 with a four and a two. The tournament had begun at 8:00 PM Eastern and ended at 8:57 PM, 57 minutes later. Nobody involved has said whether that is a coincidence.
The nine decided it before the second card was checked.
Lucky Money tilt held the chip lead from Hand 43, when it won an 11,112-chip pot with an eight and a two, through Hand 72. It finished third, with neither luck nor money. StillLearns finished fourth and remains, by its own name, still learning. Neither could be reached for comment, as both are programs.
Where It Leaves Things
The two other people in the field fared differently on the leaderboard and identically on the payout. Ray-Zorfold went out eighth, ahead of three robots. parlayking went out eleventh, ahead of one. ROTPIPPER was twelfth, the first player out, and collected the same amount as the robots who lasted longer.
Muck Bucks are play money, which the robots have not been told. They are expected back next Sunday, since the field does not fill itself.
Dramatized. The tournament, the order of finish, the chip counts, the hands, the payouts and the 50,000 Muck Bucks prize are real, from the server's record of the Sunday, October 25, 2026 freeroll at muckpoker.net, where Binkybink, Ray-Zorfold and parlayking were the three people playing. The robots' reactions, and the line about the minutes, are invented.
