Court Issues Ruling on Buried Norman Chad Roast, $10K Bounty Placed on Unvaulting
Rocky Rivers, USA - In what legal experts are already calling “completely unnecessary but also correct,” a formal ruling has been issued regarding the alleged burial of a Norman Chad roast targeting Craig Tapscott.
The case centers on a now-unavailable video in which Chad, hired to deliver a roast, reportedly declined payment and instead performed the set pro bono.
Witnesses confirm he then proceeded to deliver.
“In spades,” according to court filings.
The Facts (As Entered Into the Record)
- Norman Chad was hired to roast Craig Tapscott.
- Chad refused payment, opting to do the roast for free.
- The roast was subsequently delivered, and by all accounts, it absolutely landed.
Further complicating matters:
- Craig Tapscott and/or an associate are alleged to have made an unspecified contribution to The Muck Slush Fund™, after which the video disappeared from public view.
The Ruling
“Notwithstanding the foregoing, the Court finds that the roast in question constitutes material of significant comedic merit, delivered voluntarily, lawfully, and with clear intent to cook.”
The ruling went on to note that any attempt to suppress the footage raises “serious concerns of softness,” a rarely cited but widely respected legal standard.
The Court further confirmed that the roast is to be recognized as being officially “fire,” regardless of its current availability.
The $10,000 Question
In a late development, the Court entered a standing bounty into the record:
$10,000 USD for the immediate unvaulting and public release of the roast.
The offer remains active. No takers have emerged.
At press time, the footage remains buried, The Muck Slush Fund™ remains unexplained, and the poker world is left to grapple with a question that may never be answered: How bad was it?
Status: Pending… or Ducking?
“This offer shall remain in effect until such time as the footage is restored, or the Court determines that the parties involved simply do not want that smoke.”
No further hearings are scheduled. But the internet, as always, is watching.